Dumb Criminal of the Week - December 27th, 2010

     Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of a convenience store in a district court when he fired his lawyer. Assistant district attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was doing a fair job of defending himself until the store manager testified that Newton was the robber. Newton jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then said, "I should have blown your #@%* head off." The defendant paused, then quickly added, "If I'd been the one that was there." The jury took 20 minutes to convict Newton and recommend a 30-year sentence.

Dumb Criminal of the Week - December 20th, 2010

     David Posman, 33, was arrested recently in Providence, R.I., after allegedly knocking out an armored car driver and stealing the closest four bags of money. It turned out they contained $800 in PENNIES, weighed 30 pounds each, and slowed him to a stagger during his getaway so that police officers easily jumped him from behind.

Dumb Criminal of the Week - December 14th, 2010

     Concert-goer Korey Henderson was wearing an orange jumpsuit. That tends to capture the attention. Especially of law enforcement. Especially when the words "Polk County Jail" are stenciled on the back. A speedy investigation revealed that the suit had been stolen when Henderson was released from that institution. Because his attendance at the concert violated the terms of his probation, he earned the right to continue wearing the jumpsuit. . . in Polk County Jail.

Dumb Criminal of the Week - December 6th, 2010

     Clever drug traffickers used a propane tanker truck entering El Paso from Mexico. They rigged it so propane gas would be released from all of its valves while the truck concealed 6,240 pounds of marijuana. They were clever, but not bright. They misspelled the name of the gas company on the side of the truck.

Dumb Criminal of the Week - November 30th, 2010

     Charged with drug-possession, Christopher Johns claimed that he had been searched without a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer did not need a warrant because a bulge in Johns' jacket could have been a gun. "Nonsense," said Christopher who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day. When he handed the judge the jacket, a bag of cocaine fell out. The judge required a five-minute recess so that he could gain his composure.

Dumb Criminal of the Week - November 22nd, 2010

     Barry Colbert was cited for driving while intoxicated and for driving with a suspended license. He actually got behind the wheel after a collision but before the police got to the car. The real driver was cited for driving without a license, driving without headlights and running a stop sign. The reason he didn't have a license: seven-year-olds aren't allowed to have them! Did I mention that Colbert was also cited for allowing his youngster to operate a motor vehicle?